An original dish for the pasta file

Dear City Gay:

I've been struggling lately. It's five days until payday, I'm running out of food, and I'm tired of using my credit card to buy groceries. I started digging through my cupboard to avoid running to Sonic for a quick meal. I decided I had enough fixings for spaghetti, but I decided to alter it a bit by using some cream and vodka in the sauce. I have no idea what the exact measurements were, so the following recipe is a total guestimate.

Pasta:
This part's easy. Put water in a pot, throw in some salt, wait for the water to boil, and throw in spaghetti. Duh.

Sauce:
Ingredients:
1 pound hamburger
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 can tomato soup (I think this is the country part; a better ingredient would probably be real tomato sauce.)
Italian seasoning
1/4 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup vodka
Parmesan cheese
Salt and pepper to taste

1. Brown the hamburger with the minced garlic.
2. Add the tomato soup, Italian seasoning (maybe three tablespoons - I eye-balled this and just kept tasting the sauce), cream, and vodka. I also added about a ladle of the pasta water. Let this simmer for about 1o minutes (or long enough for the strong vodka taste and smell to tone down).
3. Drain pasta, and add the pasta to the sauce.
4. Toss with about 1/4 cup of Parmesan cheese.

Serve with grated Parmesan.

Yields: A crapload. Seriously, I'll be eating this for days.

I don't have a picture of it because, frankly, a picture wouldn't have been very exciting, and I was really hungry, so I didn't waste time photographing the meal.

I was surprised how good it was, but because I'm getting rounder by the day, I avoided seconds. I think the cream helps temper the taste and obviously creates a creamy tomato sauce. The vodka taste is subtle. I may not have let the vodka cook off enough because my head feels pretty good. (However, I'm also drinking wine right now, so that is the more likely culprit.) I imagine this would be better using a real tomato sauce, rather than a can of soup, and with fresh herbs, rather than the dried Italian seasoning.

This spaghetti was good in a pinch, and perhaps with a bit of fine-tuning, this could be a pretty good meal.

Loves,
Country Gay

Hey, cupcake.

Dear City Gay:

It's been awhile. I hope you are recovering from illness and your gambling addiction. Maybe something sweet will brighten your life, and Paula Deen's cheesecake cupcakes could do the trick.

For the traditional end of the year party at which my clique bitches about the end of the school year, I decided to bring a dessert. I thought cupcakes sounded fun, and I thought cheesecake sounded delicious, so thank God Paula Deen combines the two!

The cupcakes are really easy to make, though I found them a bit frustrating. I didn't let the first batch bake long enough, and they pretty much deflated when I took them out of the oven to glaze. However, I discovered this didn't affect the taste or texture. I was more pleased with the second batch that had a nice golden brown color, but they also deflated a bit. I guess the deflation was good so that the glaze would fit nicely, but I was afraid they would just completely sink and be disgusting looking. But after refrigerating for a day and garnishing with fruit, I have to say the were quite tasty.

A bit of the evidence with the recipe to follow:


I bought a new hand mixer just to make these. I imagined the hand mixer my parents received as a wedding gift just wasn't going to cut it any more. The batter is easy to make and full of cream cheese and sugar. My teeth may have rotted a bit just by reading the recipe.


Right out of the oven, the cupcakes don't look incredibly special, even with the glaze. I had a couple of problems with taking them out of the muffin tin, which meant I had to eat a couple. Note: these don't really taste good until they are completely cooled and chilled. They are a bit eggy/custardy when still warm.


I think the fresh raspberries and blueberries make these nice individual desserts and definitely add a summer flair.

Recipe from Paula Deen & Friends: Living it Up, Southern Style
Ingredients:
Cupcake:
Three 8 ounce packages cream cheese, softened
1 cup sugar
4 eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Topping:
1 cup sour cream
1/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Kiwi or strawberry slivers, fruit topping or jam, blueberries or raspberries for garnish

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Line 24 regular muffin cups with paper cupcake liners.
2. In a large mixing bowl, beat the cream cheese until very smooth. Add the sugar and mix well. Add the eggs and vanilla and mix well.
3. Fill the cups about half full with the batter. Bake for about 25 minutes, until the cupcakes are set and golden brown.
4. Make the topping: Combine the sour cream, sugar, and vanilla and stir well with a metal spoon or spatula. Spoon about a teaspoon on top of each cupcake and return to the oven for 5 minutes to glaze.
5. Remove the cupcakes from the oven. When they can be handled safely, remove them from the muffin tins and let cool completely on wire racks. When complete cool, place them in plastic containers with lids and refrigerate until ready to serve. Just before serving, decorate with slivers of freshly cut seasonal fruit, jam, or fruit topping, or 1 or 2 whole brlueberries or raspberries. Serve at room temperature.

Makes 2 dozen.

The cupcakes seemed to go over well, and I came home with just a few, which I'm sure I'll snarf down tomorrow for breakfast.

On a side note, I had my first escargot tonight. I can't say it was amazing, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The taste was good. (It was served on a mushroom with some sort of breading; it was kind of buttery tasting.) The texture was a bit iffy, but it was pretty much like eating a clam or mussel.

Hope to see you back in the kitchen soon.

Love always,
Country Gay

Photo Test

Dear City Gay:

My new digital camera has a food setting, so I tested it out at Red Robin this weekend.


The picture is fine and so was the hamburger smothered in bleu cheese. The onion straws on the burger were kind of soggy, though, which made made for an unintended chewiness. I'm sure the burger was completely unhealthy, but whatev.

Now perhaps I'll get back into the cooking mode. Yeah, it was the lack of a good camera that was keeping me from cooking. Yeah, that's it.

Loves,
Country Gay

Saffron and Fire

Dear City Gay:

Here's an update on the outcome of Evin's birthday dinner. Since you were a virtual part of the grocery shopping experience, you need to know how everything went.

The meal, which came from the Vincent Price cookbook, consisted of a simple pea salad, steak flambeaux with a mustard sauce, risotto, and asparagus. Bread pudding provided a down-home, comfort dessert.

There were two notable parts of the meal: the ingredients for the risotto and the flambeaux.

First, the risotto called for a teaspoon of saffron. I had never paid much attention to saffron, but Jeff and I discovered we almost had to whore ourselves out in Fred Meyer to be able to afford one jar of this stuff. Rare and difficult to procure, saffron costs about $20 for a ridiculously small amount. Usually, spices fill the spice jar, but saffron is in a small bag inside the spice jar. I'm sure the teaspoon of saffron added something invaluable to the risotto, but beyond the lovely color, I'm not sure it added much to the taste.

Secondly, was the setting of the steak on fire. I'm fascinated and horrified by setting food on fire on purpose. I'm not sure exactly what was added to the steak (sprinkled with sage and rosemary) by setting them on fire, but it was certainly a spectacular sight. We cooked the steaks in two batches, and I wasn't watching Jeff when the second batch was flambeed; however, since my back was to the stove, I certainly felt it. Apparently, the flames were quite the sight.

Overall, the meal was a success, and I think Jeff and I need to open a Vincent Price restaurant, where he works as head chef, and I'm sous chef. We are talking about doing a Vincent Price meal monthly, which could actually keep this blog alive.

Sorry there are no pictures. One diner suggested I take a picture of my stomach to show where the food went, but I politely declined with a look of horror that there was no way I was putting a picture of my stomach on the blog.

Happy eating,
Country Gay

Petits Pains au Chocolat

Chere homosexuelle de ville,

Using this recipe from Bon Appetit (via Epicurious.com), I made small versions of pain au chocolat.

I believe pain au chocolat is one of France's greatest contributions to the world. I salivate at the memory of stopping by the bakery down the street from the Hotel St. Lambert to get a fresh pain au chocolat before wandering the streets of Paris. I have been able to get chocolate croissants on other travels, especially when visiting City Gay and going to Cafe Verite or stopping at the French bakery near the Pike Place Market, but none of these croissants ever quite match the taste of the real thing.

The recipe from Bon Appetit is simple and uses puff pastry and chocolate to create small pains au chocolat. The recipe yields 24 pieces, but I cut the pastry bigger and made a dozen. This created a doughier result, but I was afraid cutting the pastry smaller would create pain au chocolat that was too small. I used Hershey's milk chocolate, which, in retrospect, wasn't the best decision but it was handy. For further attempts at this, I will probably use a dark chocolate with a more refined quality than Hershey's. Nutella could also be an interesting filling choice.

Bon appetit, homosexuelle de ville!

Grosses bises,
Homosexuel de campagne

Thanks, Daily Soup

Tonight I made Daily Soup's winter minestrone for Bill, Bug, and the Foxes. I'd never had minestrone, let alone realized how easy it is to make. When I first saw the recipe called for cabbage and butternut squash, I couldn't imagine how the soup would taste, but after mixing everything together and adding the homemade pesto (Who knew this was incredibly easy to make, too?), the strong taste of pesto, garlic, and thyme was shining through. I probably could have eaten several bowls of this, but I held off.

While I don't own the Daily Soup cookbook, I really should. It's a winter staple for soup making with friends. While some recipes may seem complicated, the pay off of a good, solid soup is worth the time and effort of using a lot of ingredients. Go here to buy the cook book.

Here is the recipe for the winter minestrone:

Ingredients
2 Tbs olive oil
1 large Spanish onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, minced
1/2 head cabbage, preferably Savoy, chopped
2 tsp dried thyme leaves
1 bunch fresh basil stems (leaves removed), tied together with string
1 1/2 tsp kosher salt
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
8 cups basic vegetable stock
1 butternut squash (about 1 1/2 pounds), peeled, seeded, and cut into 1-inch cubes
4 red potatoes, cut into 1inch cubes
3 Tbs tomato paste
1 (3-inch) piece Parmesan cheese rind
2 cups uncooked spinach radiatore pasta, or any spiral pasta
1 cup prepared basil pesto*
1/2 cup chopped scallions

Directions
Heat the oil in a large stockpot over medium heat. Add the onion and garlic and sweat for 4 minutes, until tender.

Add the cabbage and sweat for 4 minutes, until wilted.

Add the thyme, basil stems, salt, and pepper and stir to coat the vegetables. Add the stock, squash, potatoes, tomato paste, and Parmesan rind and bring the mixture to a boil. Reduce heat, partially cover, and simmer for 10 minutes.

Add the pasta and cook for 10 minutes, until tender.

To serve, remove the basil stems and Parmesan rind, ladle the soup into bowls, and top with a dollop of pesto and the chopped scallions.

*Pesto Recipe

1 1/2 cups packed basil leaves (Use the leaves from the stems you put in the soup.)
1/2 cup parmesan cheese
1/4 cup toasted pine nuts
2 cloves garlic
salt to taste
1/2 cup olive oil

Put basil leaves, cheese, pine nuts, garlic, and salt in a blender or food processor and blend until ground. While blending, add the olive oil steadily until the mixture becomes a fine paste.

(Before going to the store to buy ingredients for the soup I suggested buying pesto, but this really is so easy to make that it's just silly to not make homemade pesto sauce.)

I Used to Love Bacon

I spotted the picture below at Serious Eats and had to find out more information. This is one of the grossest things I've ever seen, and yet I'm oddly fascinated with it. Maybe it's because it is all made of meat, and you know how I likes me some meat.


I don't quite understand the rolled up piece of meat on all of the pirates' laps. Does that represent something, or am I being dirty? It looks like the pirate is going to spank a Vienna sausage.

Obsessed

Dear City Gay:

You created a monster when you sent the America's Test Kitchen cookbook. Last night was All-American Beef Chili night, which was scrumptious. I didn't let it simmer for as long as I should have because it was getting late and those helping to eat the chili would have killed me if I had said, "We just have another 45 minutes." However, the chili was fantastic and packed a nice punch with 1/4 cup of chili powder.

We should start investigating fun places to eat for our spring Not Quite the Gayest Trip Ever In a Fairly Non-Gay Place.

Love you long time.

Country Gay

O.M.G. Stew

Dear City Gay:

It's cold in the country, and a nice, homey remedy is a hearty beef stew. As I perused the America's Test Kitchen cookbook, the beef stew stuck out. One of the reasons, beyond its savory appeal, was the picture. The earthy look of the beef, potatoes, carrots, and peas seemed to jump off the page. While I wouldn't normally examine a close-up of stew, I love the texture of this stew.


Last night, I decided it was beef stew night. Making the beef stew is about a three hour process, but sweet Julia Child, it is worth the wait. The combination of flavors - most notably the sweetness of the red wine and thyme - create a flavor that conjures homestyle Sunday dinners.

Apparently, the stew gets better after a couple of days, so I'm excited about the possible taste explosion that waits for me tomorrow.

The recipe follows.

Come back to me, City Gay. I'm missing you something fierce.

Loves,
Country Gay


Beef Stew
Serves: 6 to 8
Prep Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 3 hours (includes 2 hours simmering time)

Ingredients:
1 (3-pound) boneless beef chuck roast, trimmed and cut into 1 1/2-inch cubes (I bought the stew meat already cut up even though the cookbook advised against it)
salt and pepper
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 onions, minced
1 tablespoon tomato paste
2 garlic cloves, minced
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 cup dry red wine
2 cups low-sodium chicken broth
1 tablespoon minced fresh thyme or 1 teaspoon dried
2 bay leaves
1 1/2 pounds red potatoes (5 medium), scrubbed and cut into 1 1/2-inch chunks
4 carrots, peeled and sliced thin
1 cup frozen peas

1. Adjust an oven rack to the lower-middle position and heat the oven to 300 degrees. Dry the beef with paper towels, then season with salt and pepper. Heat 1 tablespoon of the oil in a large Dutch oven over medium-high heat until just smoking. Brown half the meat, about 10 minutes, then transfer to a plate. Return the pot to medium-high heat and repeat with 1 more tablespoon of the oil and the remaining beef.

2. Add the remaining tablespoon oil to the empty pot and return to medium heat until shimmering. Add the onions and cook until softened, about 5 minutes. Stir in the tomato paste and garlic and cook for 30 seconds. Add the flour and cook for 1 minute. Slowly stir in the wine, scraping up any browned bits. Stir in the broth, thyme, bay leaves, and browned beef along with any accumulated juices. Bring to a simmer, cover, and transfer the pot to the oven. Cook for 1 hour.

3. Stir in the potatoes and carrots. Cover and continue to cook in the oven until the beef is tender, about 1 hour.

4. Remove the pot from the oven and discard the bay leaves. Stir in the peas and let stand off the heat for 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste before serving.

Spritz Cookies

Sorry, City Gay. This entry isn't directed to you.

Dear Girl with a Blog:

Here is the recipe for the spritz cookies you requested. It's really simple, but for some reason, I am the only one in my family who can/will make them. They can be a bit frustrating to make because the dough won't stay on a hot baking sheet when you send them out of the cookie press. I've read that a way to resolve this is to run the cookie sheet under cold water before preparing the next batch.

Spritz Cookies
Yields 5 dozen

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups butter or margarine
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
4 cups sifted flour
1 teaspoon baking powder

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Cream the butter and sugar. Add egg, vanilla, and almond extract. Sift flour and baking powder. (I don't actually sift them; I just stir them together.) Gradually add this to the creamed mixture. Do not chill the dough. (A challenge here is to not eat all of the raw dough because it tastes damn good.)

(At this point, I separate the dough into three different bowls and add red or green food coloring to color the dough. This isn't a necessary step, but it does add something for the holidays.)

Force the dough through a cookie press on an ungreased baking sheet.

Bake for 8-10 minutes and cool on wire racks.

(My grandma used to frost these and put sprinkles on them. I skip that part so I can just enjoy the cookies, which have a sweet almond flavor because of the almond extract.)

The nice thing about this recipe is it makes enough cookies to enjoy yourself and to give to people around the holidays. It's also fun to experiment with the different disks that create different cookies. I find the tree shape is the easiest to make. The less complicated the cookie design, the easier the cookie will take shape. The good thing is if the cookie doesn't come out of the press well, you just put the dough back in and try again.

Happy baking!
Country Gay

R.I.P. Lambchop

Dear City Gay:

Happy New Year's Eve!

I know you are basking in the glow of sunny Hawaii right now, while I am basking in the reflection of snow and a temperature of about 25 degrees. Not that I'm jealous or anything. (Maybe the locale for a future Gayest Trip Ever should be Hawaii...)

I decided to put the America's Test Kitchen cookbook you gave me to use and made the following meal centered around lamb chops.


Not that lamb chop...


Two parts of the meal were pretty basic.

The mashed potatoes, which you will notice look runny in the picture of the complete meal, were easy. (I used half and half and butter, which made them kind of rich, but I wasn't paying attention and put in too much half and half. They still tasted okay, though.)

The salad was inspired by a suggestion in the cookbook: romaine hearts, balsamic vinaigrette, chickpeas (garbanzo beans), and feta cheese. The recipe called for radicchio, but I left it out to avoid the bitter flavor. I mixed everything together (except for the cheese) and refrigerated until right before the meal. I tossed the cheese with the salad right before we ate. I think what really makes the salad good are the chickpeas, but the combination of ingredients gives the salad a simple but great taste.

The lamb was pretty easy to make, but it took longer than I thought. I only have a few pictures because I forgot to document some of the recipe. Bill acted as photographer for the meal, lest you think I have constructed some impressive set up that allows me to take pictures of myself cooking.

The recipe for the lamb chops follows the pictures.

After preparing and frying the lamb chops, the chops rest under a foil tent for five minutes.


A red wine sauce is made with any browned bits after frying the lamb, red wine, chicken broth, shallots, butter, and rosemary. The sauce is pretty mild tasting, and the rosemary keeps the sauce from tasting too sweet.

Note the subtle gay images in the background: magnets with a near-naked man, a butch-femme magnet, Brad on the bar. Just keeping it gay real, City Gay.

The meal was satisfying, but it's probably not something I would make often for the basic reason that lamb chops are kind of expensive. However, when I do get a craving for lamb, this will be a recipe I know I can make easily. Out of the three parts of the meal, the salad will be thing I probably come back to in the future.

So, City Gay, while you are drinking fancy drinks out of pineapples and eating poi, I am making my way through the cookbook. Only a kabillion recipes to go.

May the new year bring you plenty of good eats!
Country Gay

Pan-seared Lamb Chops with Red Wine Rosemary Sauce
Serves 4
Start to Finish: 30 minutes

Chops:
8 lamb loin or rib chops (4 oz each), 3/4 to 1 inch thick, trimmed
salt and pepper
1 tablespoon vegetable oil

Red Wine Sauce:
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
2 shallots, minced
1 cup dry red wine
3/4 cup low-sodium chicken broth
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into three pieces and chilled
2 1/2 teaspoons minced fresh rosemary or 1/2 teaspoon dried
salt and pepper

1. For the chops: Pat the chops dry with paper towels, then season with salt and pepper. Heat the oil in a 12 inch skillet over medium-high heat until just smoking. Brown the chops on the first side, about 4 minutes.

2. Flip the chops over and continue to cook until the desired doneness, 4-6 minutes. Transfer the chops to a clean plate, tent with foil, and let rest for 5 minutes.

3. For the sauce: Meanwhile, add the oil to the skillet and return to medium heat until shimmering. Add the shallots and cook until softened, about 2 minutes. Stir in the wine and broth, scraping up any browned bits, and simmer until thickened, about 5 minutes.

4. Stir in any accumulated meat juice. Turn the heat to low and which in the butter, one piece at a time. Off the heat, stir in the rosemary and season with salt and pepper to taste. Spoon the sauce over the chops before serving.

Holiday Snackies

Dear City Gay:

Now that I'm on Christmas Break, I have some time to share with you a gift I put together for a lunch table Secret Santa gift exchange. Our price limit was $5, and I knew there was no way I would be able to buy something suitable for my chosen colleague with only $5. Since Christmas is the season of eating too much unhealthy food, I thought I would spread the joy with a tray of (mostly homemade) goodies.


As you can see, this is no ordinary tray. To keep with the lunchtime idea, I bought an inexpensive (under $5) lunch tray from Target. I thought this would be much more interesting than a typical, cheap, plastic holiday tray.

The treats are also simple to make: (clockwise from the top left) Giada de Laurentiis's Holiday Biscotti, basic chocolate chip cookies (look on the back of a Nestle Tollhouse Chocolate Chip bag for the recipe), Peppermint Hershey's White Chocolate Kisses, sour cream sugar cookies with cream cheese frosting, the famous balls, and spritz (or press) cookies from my grandmother's recipe.

If only holiday lunches had looked like this in elementary school!

Cheers,
Country Gay

Nice balls

Dear City Gay:

I had grandiose plans of posting a whole series of holiday baking recipes, but with a week until Christmas, I only have one recipe to share (even though my counters are covered with cookies).

Many people who know my family look forward to Christmas because it's the only time of year peanut butter bon bons are made. This recipe is the perfect, rich holiday treat, and it also leads to plenty of jokes about balls, much like the cherished SNL skit below:



The recipe is incredibly easy and can be a nice thing to add to any holiday goodie trays.

Peanut Butter Bon Bons
Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
1 cup graham cracker crumbs (about 12 squares, but boxed crumbs can be found in the baking aisle)
1/2 cup margarine or butter
1/2 cup peanut butter
1 6 oz. package milk chocolate chips

Directions:
Mix powdered sugar and cracker crumbs. Heat butter and peanut butter until melted. (I use the microwave for this.) Stir into crumb mixture. Shape mixture into 1 inch balls.

Heat chocolate chips with 1 tbsp. shortening. (You can do this in the microwave. Heat and stir in intervals of 15-20 seconds to make sure the chocolate doesn't burn.) Dip balls into melted chocolate with tongs (or special dipping tools found in cooking stores) and place on wax paper. Refrigerate until firm.

Yields: 3 dozen


As you can see, I also dip some balls into white chocolate. I also tend to swish a bit of white chocolate onto some of the milk chocolate balls, which makes things look a bit fancier.

So, City Gay, some of these balls are en route from the country to the city, and I hope they arrive safely, so you can enjoy my balls. (See? The jokes can already begin!)

Happy Holidays,
Country Gay

Won't you take me to Chinatown?

Dear City Gay:

My sincerest apologies to you and our (4) readers. I have seriously fallen off the blog wagon. In fact, I think I have seriously fallen off the cooking wagon in the last month. I did bake cookies a couple of weeks ago, but that was just the recipe from the back of the Nestle chocolate chips package. I hope that as the holiday baking season approaches, I will be able to get some things on the blog.

For your entertainment, though, I present an embarrassing picture of me trying to eat a pork soup dumpling at Joe's Shanghai while I was in New York City last week.


Joe's Shanghai, located in Chinatown, is famous for steamed dumplings that have soup in them. The question, of course, is how does one get soup in the dumpling? I found out the soup is frozen then put ina dumpling to be steamed. The real challenge comes in eating the dumpling. A diner puts soy sauce in a soup spoon, gently places the dumpling on the spoon, tears or bites a hole into the dumpling, gets some soy sauce into the dumpling, and then tries to eat the dumpling without burning the mouth or making a complete mess. I was successful in eating the dumpling without burning myself, but I made a terrible mess.

The dumplings were a great appetizer from a menu that has 149 choices. The main part of the meal included beef with broccoli, sesame chicken, shrimp pan fried noodles, and eggplant with garlic (with pork). (There were five of us eating, so I didn't snarf all of this by myself.)

There were other amazing restaurants during the trip, but Joe's Shanghai (and the journey through Chinatown) was certainly one of the best.

Happy belated Thanksgiving.

Love always,
Country Gay

Catchy Food Title

I think Disneyland wore out the gay owners of this blog. I seriously don't think I've cooked one thing since I returned, but I've been eating a lot of yogurt and drinking coffee in the morning. The country finally has a standalone Starbucks with a drive-thru, which means I've become their number one fan.

I did make taco soup tonight, which was filling. I also have enough to last through the winter.

I believe City Gay and I could be starting a weekly cheese feature. For me to participate, I would have to actually by an interesting cheese. While the smoked cheddar I bought the other day is delightful, there really isn't anything special about it. Look for something cheesy in the future though.

A meal in three courses

The wine has worn off, so I think I can give a fuller review of my meal last night. The meal was originally supposed to be a Frenchie affair with a viewing of Jean de Florette, but it ended up just being a dinner and conversation kind of evening, which, peut-etre, was even better. The meal is best described broken down into the three courses, and all recipes come from Vincent Price's A Treasury of Great Recipes.

Course One - soupe a l'oignon
When I was first introduced to the menu for the evening and saw onion soup, I immediately flashed to the beefy, oniony, cheesy soup I had one evening in Paris. I absolutely adore onion soup, but I do find it difficult to eat sometimes because of the amount of cheese and onions found in just one small bowl. How interesting, then, to notice this onion soup wouldn't look anything like the typical onion soup.

There are a variety of steps to the soup, but it really wasn't too complicated. The recipe (magically found online) follows at the end of the post. We didn't follow the last steps exactly as written. Instead, we simply put a piece of French bread in a bowl, sprinkled parmesan cheese over it, and then added the soup. We could have done some broiling, but we opted to skip it.

Course Two - apple and truffle salad
While the soup was cooking, we made a simple salad that tasted much better than I anticipated. The salad is supposed to be made up of apples and truffles, but it's hard to find truffles in the country, so we used some kind of mushroom that was reddish and natural looking. I have no idea what kind of shroom it was, but it added the necessary earthy flavor to the salad. The salad basically contains: four apples peeled, cored, and diced; some mushrooms; chopped hearts of romaine. These ingredients are tossed together with salt and pepper and the juice of half of a lemon. The dressing is made up of cream and sour cream, but I have no idea how much of each. This is mixed and then tossed with the salad. Add salt and pepper to taste.

We paused to have these two parts of the meal before making the main course. (However, there were parts of the main course recipe we did in conjunction with the onion soup because we had to make an onion paste.) The soup was oniony but had a peppery garlic kick to it that helped tone down the onion. The parmesan and bread also help temper the onion. The beef broth of a typical French onion soup was certainly lacking but not necessarily missed. The salad was surprising. The sour cream dressing added some tang, the apples added tartness, the mushrooms added hardiness, and the lemon added some sourness. The combination of flavors basically made for a refreshing follow up to the onion soup.

Course Three - noisettes de something
I'm going to have to be fairly vague about some of the parts of the main course. The basic ingredient was lamb chops (boned with the fat trimmed). Side note: there was much giggling over the idea of boning the lamb. While the onion soup was cooking, two large, diced onions were put into a pot of simmering water. I don't know if anything was added to this because I was too busy boning the lamb chops. Also simmering on the back of the stove were the bottoms of artichokes. I had no idea these even existed, but they can be found in the canned food aisle at the grocery store.

The most time consuming part of this recipe is creating an onion sauce/paste that resembles mashed potatoes. While the onions were simmering, we made a bechamel sauce, which is basically a white sauce. A blender was used, egg yolks figured in somewhere, and then part of the bechamel sauce was combined with the drained onions and blended again. This was set aside to cook the lamb.

I had never cooked lamb before, and it's rare that I actually eat it. We fried the lamb in butter for about three minutes on each side then removed to a plate. The next step was to make a Madeira sauce, so we added port and a touch of butter to the pan we fried the lamb in and simmered and stirred until the sauce had reduced by half.

It was then time to put it all together. The final step is to layer ingredients and broil for a few minutes. We placed some of the onion sauce on one of the artichoke bottoms, then stacked lamb on the sauce, and finally topped the lamb with a little more sauce. This was a little challenging since the artichoke bottoms kept sliding around. At this point I was still slightly wary of the artichoke bottoms since I'm not a huge fan of artichokes. The pan went under the broiler for a few minutes or until the top sauce was slightly browned. To serve, we put each collection o' lamb on a plate and put a bit of Madeira sauce over the top.

The best part came next. With a slightly chilled chardonnay, we began the main course. There was a moment of silence followed by a round of "Ummmm, oh my God." The slight sauce on the lamb added sweetness to the distinct lamb taste, which was an amazing complement to the artichoke and onion flavors. Everything just melted in our mouths. I thought the petit serving wouldn't be enough, but it actually ended up being the perfect amount. We were satisfied but not overly stuffed.

What was so lovely about this meal was the time it took to make it all. We started at about 3:30 and were eating the main course at around 6:30. Delightful conversation peppered the time spent prepping or enjoying the early courses. Because the courses were slightly spread out, there was time to digest and enjoy and imbibe. So often I am looking for a quick meal because I don't have time to cook, but this was a prime example of what amazing food can be made by setting aside the time to make something.

***
Vincent Price's Soupe a l'oignon
1 hour 15 min prep
Ingredients:

Change to: servings US Metric

3	tablespoons bacon drippings (you can substitute butter, if you have no drippings)
4	large onions, chopped fine
2	tablespoons flour
1/2	teaspoon salt
1/8	teaspoon fresh ground pepper
1	clove garlic, smashed
1	sprig parsley
1	pinch thyme
1	quart chicken stock
1	cup dry white wine
1	tablespoon cognac
6	slices toasted French bread
	olive oil
1	cup grated parmesan cheese, divided, for garnish (or more, to taste or according to recipe see below)

Preparation:

1. (Also needed: 6 oven-proof soup bowls.).
2. Over medium temperature, heat a deep skillet with the bacon drippings or butter.
3. Add the chopped onions and sauté until just soft.
4. Add the flour, salt, pepper, and garlic and cook until it is golden brown (careful not to burn).
5. Add the parsley sprig, thyme, chicken stock, wine, and simmer for 45 minutes, then remove from heat and add the Cognac.
6. To serve: divide the servings between the six oven-proof bowls, placing the bowls on a baking sheet, with 1 slice of toasted French bread in each bowl.
7. To make it Soupe à L'Oignon Gratinée: preheat your oven's broiler setting; you're going to make three layers of thinly sliced bread and Parmesan cheese in the bowl, pouring soup into the bowls, topping each layer with Parmesan and a little melted butter, then placing the bowls on a baking sheet under the broiler until the cheese melts and forms a golden brown crust.

Eat me. I'm an Irish tater pig.

Because of my exceptionally busy social life, I'm not going to be home when the deadline hits, so I'm delivering my post now. (And I drafted this yesterday, so the post date makes it look like I'm super early.) Enjoy.

Before I went to the grocery store to buy ingredients for my reinvented tater pig, the biggest question in my mind was, "What kind of cheese should I use?"

It's no surprise that I am a fan of all cheeses, and for a moment I thought something like a bleu cheese or gorgonzola could be interesting. However, I quickly ruled these out because I feared the taste would be too overwhelming. While shopping the cheese area of Fred Meyer, I saw one of my new favorites: Dubliner. It has a sharp taste and a flaky consistency. It has just enough of a bite to make it interesting but not overpowering. I knew that would be what I needed for my cosmopolitanized - and slightly Irish - tater pig.


I had also made a decision to make the tater pig a twice-baked tater pig. In my family, twice-baked potatoes are a holiday favorite. They're rich and stuffed with sour cream, bacon, butter, and cheese. I decided to play off of my mom's recipe for twice-baked potatoes and hoped I'd come out with something more sophisticated than the fair's tater pig.


The beginning is simple: prepare a baked potato. Because I knew my week would be busy, I did this a couple of days ahead of time and refrigerated the potato until I was ready to use it. When I was ready, I split the potato down the middle and did my best to scoop out the innards. This is unlike a normal twice-baked potato where one would cut the potato in half, scoop out the inside, and then refill the halves. I liked that I was going to be putting the potato back into a full-sized potato; however, this also proved slightly difficult (but manageable).


After I had scooped out the insides, I mashed the potato with a spoon, shredded about 1/4 cup of cheese into it, and added a large dollop of sour cream. I also added just a bit of salt and pepper, though in retrospect I think there was enough seasoning in the sausage to take care of that.

As for the sausage, I went with an unexciting Jimmy Dean sausage patty for my sausage choice. Actually, I thought it would be unexciting, but there was a bit of a spicy kick to the sausage, which was a surprise in a good way. I fried four of the patties, knowing I'd only use two in the recipe. I used the other two as an appetizer, which made me excited to get to the sausage actually in the tater pig.


When the sausage was done, I simply patted the grease out with paper towels and tore one of the patties into the potato, sour cream, and cheese mixture. I placed one patty in the bottom of the potato and then stuffed the mixture back into the potato skin. This, again, was a bit challenging because I didn't want to tear the potato, and because of the added ingredients, the space wasn't really big enough for the filling. However, this allowed the filling to be piled high on the skin.


The potato went into a preheated 350 degree oven for about 35 minutes, just enough to heat everything through. In retrospect, I should have sprinkled some cheese on the top and let it bake a bit longer to give a crunchier top.

Brad eyed the potato, but I wasn't going to let that little gnome eat all of my hard work. Unfortunately, my digital camera has problems taking close-ups of food, so the photos of the finished product turned out terribly. You'll just have to look past Brad's head for an idea of the finished Irish tater pig.


The potato was tasty, and the Dubliner cheese added a different taste than what one gets with the regular spicy nacho cheese. The sour cream was a bit much, so I would probably put in a little bit less in the future. But the sour cream also causes the dish to be extremely rich, which helps makes this its own meal.

The most exciting part of my reinvented pig was the way the sausage was spread throughout the potato. At the fair, an eater gets one sausage link (which I'm sure is plenty for some). Because of the patty in the bottom of the potato and the sausage sprinkled throughout the mixture, there was a bit of sausage in every bite. This helped feed my love for the sausage.

The potato was filling on its own, but it is a time consuming concoction. Baking the potato takes about 80 minutes in a 350 degree oven, preparation time takes about 15 minutes (which is mostly cooking the sausage), and reheating time is about 35 minutes. While I might not make this often, I can see me using it as a side dish in the more traditional twice-baked potato way but with the reinvented filling.

The tater pig seems like such an Idaho county fair stand by, but by adding a bit of an Irish twist, the fair guilty pleasure becomes a slightly refined and filling meal. However, even with the refinement, there is still a very country feel to the new and improved pig.

Tater wha'?

Dear City Gay,

What is more country than the county fair? The carnies, the sheep with jackets, the people who come out of hiding twice a year - it's a beautiful event. But, as everyone knows, the real reason to go the fair isn't for the $30 unlimited ride pass, it's for the food.

I was camera-less at the fair, so I can't provide documentation of my food forays. I wish I could say I struck out and tried something new, but I stuck with the basics. The day started with a corn dog, that I snarfed so fast that the price probably came down to $1 per minute of enjoyment. After wandering through smelly barns and trying to escape the heat, it was time for the annual tater pig.

(Someone else's hands holding a random tater pig somewhere in the world)

Most people react with shock and disgust at the tater pig, but it is an Idaho specialty. I'm not sure what it is about a simple baked potato with a sausage link covered in spicy nacho cheese whiz that is appealing, but it is just ridiculously fair-y... yet most fairies wouldn't be caught eating it.

My goal some time soon is to make my own tater pig but "cosmopolitanize" it. There has got to be a better way to make a tater pig that tastes just as good but has a more sophisticated flavor.

Country Gay out.

Wanted: Personal Chef

Dear City Gay,

I apparently exhausted myself when I made shrimp fettuccine alfredo. I have fallen back into the hell of eating hot dogs and fast food during the last two weeks. The only thing I made today was coffee, and there was nothing exciting about brewing it. I could take a picture of my Jack in the Box cup that came with my meal tonight, but that would just make me feel worse about myself.

However, I do have an idea kicking around that I should be able to execute in the next couple of weeks. I hope that getting back into a routine at work will bring some sort of cooking routine, too.

Love always,
Country Gay

Pasta with a woman who smells naturally of roses

Dear City Gay,

Here is my first recipe/meal from the country. When I have a hankering for pasta, or when I'm at an Italian restaurant, I often go for the fettuccine alfredo. I know it is less than healthy, but I can't help loving the richness and creaminess of a good alfredo.

I've stolen my recipe from a Barnes and Noble cookbook that contains recipes that only require four ingredients. In my fast-paced country gay life, I don't have time for a lot of ingredients in recipes, but I also want to be able to do more than open up a jar of alfredo sauce when I make pasta. With the few ingredients in the recipe (heavy cream, butter, parmesan cheese, and pasta), I can make a fast dinner without needing to rely on fast food.


The sauce is quite easy. One only needs to melt 1/4 cup of butter then add one cup of heavy cream. When the cream and butter comes to a boil, reduce and simmer for five minutes stirring constantly. This is where I learned how tricky it can be to stir boiling milk and take pictures at the same time. (You are lucky, City Gay, to have Gus be your hand model in pictures!)


After simmering for five minutes, stir in 2/3 cup of parmesan cheese, add salt and pepper to taste, and turn off the heat. In the meantime, of course, you by now have boiling water and can add your pasta. I used non-dried fettuccine to make the cooking go faster, but you do whatever you want. I did have a problem here. I started boiling water too soon, and by the time I got to it, the water had boiled down. However, I pulled through, and the pasta was done in only five minutes.

One could stop there, drain the pasta, and mix in the sauce and serve. I decided to add a bit of shrimp to shake it up a bit. Again to save time, I bought pre-cooked shrimp, and tossed it with a bit of lemon juice and wine while warming it up before adding it to the alfredo sauce. To plate the dish, simply toss the pasta and sauce together and then serve with grated parmesan cheese.


Part of the reason for cooking alfredo tonight was to try a bottle of wine I bought while wandering through Oregon wine country last week. I stopped at the Montazi vineyard where I tried several wines, but the one that I bought was the Maysara Roseena, an Oregon rose wine. I don't often go for pink wines, even though they are du jour, but I couldn't resist the cold, fruity, crispness. According to the label, roseena is an "ancient Persian term for 'a woman who smells naturally of roses.'" I don't know much about how women smell, and usually women who smell like roses are old, but I thought this pink wine would be a nice complement to a shrimp alfredo sauce.


The fettuccine was creamy and rich, and the extra parmesan added an earthy flavor that made me want to gnaw on chunks of parmesan cheese. The wine's sweetness helped tone down the richness of the pasta, and after two servings of pasta, and two glasses of wine, I feel like I could probably bathe in both.

One downside to this recipe is that it is kind of a pain to make when the house is hot. Standing over the stove for 15 minutes doesn't sound like much, but I was pouring sweat, which I hope didn't make it into the sauce.

(Brad stole the camera for a self portrait.)

So, City Gay, if you feel like having a pasta that is fat enough to clog your arteries immediately, go with the homemade alfredo. And, in your search for good wines, I found it's good to not snub the pinks. Pink wines help create la vie en rose.